


Don't Ever Give Up.

by needtoknow400



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 21:14:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13509909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needtoknow400/pseuds/needtoknow400
Summary: Gibbs is giving up after the events of Check, is there anything that can make him want to keep fighting.





	Don't Ever Give Up.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on FF.net on 1/14/2015

Turning the handle on the door, Tony half expected it to be locked, and he was surprised when it opened for him. He silently walked into the house not sure what would greet him but knowing without question it wouldn't be good. He stepped into the living room…empty. That he expected, when Gibbs' world was in chaos, the basement was his sanctuary that's where Tony would find him. Making the familiar trek, Tony walked through the basement door and was about to take the first step down when his eyes scanned the room…nothing. The emptiness instantly made Tony's pulse quicken. Where is he? Panic and fear clawed at the back of his mind and he tried desperately not to let it take hold. He took a deep breath to calm himself and walked back into the kitchen. The garage. Another surge of panic as he rushed out the back door and towards the garage. Throwing open the side garage door, the initial wave of panic faded. The car was there, but again, no Gibbs.

Tony walked out of the garage and closed the door behind him. Where the hell was he? Back into the house, Tony made his way to the stairs and paused. Another deep breath as he tried to prepare himself for anything he might find. He took the steps two at a time. When he reached the top he walked calmly to the bedroom and stopped in the doorway. The bed was empty. What the hell? Tony was about to turn and walk out of the room when he heard a slight intake of breath. Cautiously, he made his way towards the open bathroom door his heart thumping against his chest. He glanced inside and the initial fear of not being able to find Gibbs faded, replaced quickly by a new fear. Gibbs was sitting with his back against the tub, knees pulled up, head down, in the same clothes he had on yesterday at NCIS with the faint layer of blood still coating his cheek, neck and dress shirt. There was an almost empty bottle of Bourbon in Gibbs' hand, three empty bottles next to, but what scared Tony most was the open pill bottle lying next to the liquor bottles.

Tony rushed into the room and dropped to his knees, grabbing the pill bottle. "What did you take?"

Gibbs' head wobbled back and forth, but he finally managed to pick it up and look at the man kneeling before him. "Aspirin."

"How many?" Tony asked as he looked into the pill bottle surprised to see it almost completely full.

"Four. Had a headache."

"Yeah, well four bottles of Bourbon will give you one hell of a headache." Actually, any normal man would have been throwing up in the toilet with alcohol poisoning, but then Gibbs wasn't your normal man. "Jesus Gibbs." He slumped back letting his butt rest on his heels.

"I'm not going to kill myself." Gibbs grumbled. "I won't give the bastard the satisfaction."

Tony put the pill bottle up on the sink, then ran his hands down his face. "Good."

Gibbs took another swig from the Bourbon bottle.

"Why don't you let me have that?" Tony kept his voice soft and calm as he gently slid the Bourbon bottle from Gibbs' hand.

"It isn't helping anyway." Gibbs mumbled.

Sitting the Bourbon bottle behind him and out of reach of Gibbs, Tony sighed. "I know."

Gibbs' blue eyes locked on green.

Tony could see the older man's eyes were red and swollen, both from the booze and from having been crying. The normally steely blues had softened and were now somber and full of sadness.

"She didn't deserve this…" Gibbs voice cracked. "And Emily."

"She'll get through it."

Gibbs shook his head. "She shouldn't have to get through it."

"We'll all be there for her."

"I can stop all of it." Gibbs rubbed his hands over his thighs. "Retire, go back to Mexico, far away from everyone.

"You know that's not the answer." Tony sighed. "Bad men don't stop just because you retire."

"No, but I fuel the fire and they go after the people in my life."

"And you think they're going to stop because you go to Mexico and become some hermit."

"Maybe."

"No." Tony should his head. "That's just letting the bastards win."

"We're not winning. So many friends, family, gone because of me." Gibbs' voice trembled.

"None of this is your fault."

"You need to leave."

"I'm not leaving."

"All the people I care about are in danger…especially you." Gibbs stammered.

Tony's brow furrowed.

"Please, they can't know."

"Know what?" Tony was completely confused.

Gibbs opened his mouth as if to speak and stopped. "Nothing." He watched as Tony stood up, thinking maybe the man was actually going to listen to him. Instead, Tony grabbed a wash cloth from the towel rack, got it wet and soapy, and then dropped back down in front of him.

"Here." Tony's hand touched Gibbs' chin and he turned the older man's head to the side as he washed the reminiscent of blood from Gibbs' cheek and ear. Tipping Gibbs' head back, he ran the cloth over Gibbs’ neck. A quick return to the sink to rinse out the cloth and Tony was back wiping at Gibbs' forehead and hairline until the final traces of blood were gone. "Better?"

Gibbs managed a slow nod as he stared into the green eyes. His hand came up and caressed Tony's cheek, his thumb brushing across Tony's lips.

The unusual intimate contact had Tony puzzled.

"It's not safe around me. The team…you. You need to stay away from me."

"That's not how this works." Tony balked. "We're a family, we protect each other."

"I can't lose you." Gibbs' head lobbed forward as he let his forehead rest against Tony's. "If they know, they'll come after you next and I can't…not again."

"Gibbs? What is it you're so afraid they'll find out?"

"How much I love you." Gibbs sighed, his drunken mind not realizing what he had just confessed. He just slumped back against the tub again.

Tony tried to hide the shock on his face, tried to not let himself react to the drunken admission. Internally his stomach clenched and his heart stopped. "You need a shower." He managed to stammer as he reached around the man, pushed the curtain aside and started the water in the shower. He started to unbutton Gibbs' shirt. When he reached the waistband of Gibbs' pants he pulled the shirt free. "Let's get this off."

Gibbs leaned forward letting Tony tug the shirt down his arms.

"We need to get you standing." Jumping up, Tony offered a hand to Gibbs and pulled the man upright.

Although Gibbs wobbled, he managed to remain standing, holding on to Tony's arm for support.

Taking a deep breath, Tony quickly unbuckled Gibbs' belt and popped the button. "Um, can you, or do you need me-"

Putting one hand on Tony's shoulder for stability, Gibbs unzipped his pants then pushed the boxers and pants down in one motions.

Tony's mouth dropped open and his eyes shot towards the sky trying not to look at the naked man before him. "Okay, didn't expect you to go all full Monty in front of me." His eyes focused back on Gibbs' face. "Step in." Tony tried to keep his eyes on Gibbs' face as the older man sloughed the clothes from his feet and climbed into the shower. Tony's eyes momentarily faltered and he glanced at Gibbs naked butt before the man disappeared behind the shower curtain. Tony heard a low groan from behind the curtain. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Gibbs mumbled.

Tony dropped down on the toilet and ran his hands down his face, the realizations of what just happened hitting him square in the chest.  _Gibbs loved him_. It had to be a mistake. Leroy Jethro Gibbs loving him was like some cosmic impossibility.  _It was just rambling. Gibbs is tired, drunk, has been through a traumatic experience…_. _but what if it's true._  The sound of the water turning off pulled Tony from his thoughts. "Here's a-" Tony had grabbed a towel and was about to slip it to Gibbs behind the curtain when the curtain was flung open. "Right, this is uninhibited Gibbs." He handed the towel to Gibbs, his eyes staring at the wall behind the naked man. "I so hope you don't remember any of this in the morning." Out of the corner of his eye, Tony saw Gibbs wobble and instinctively he latched onto Gibbs' arm. "You okay?"

"Not really." Gibbs swayed.

"Alright we need to get you out of here." Tony put Gibbs' arm around his shoulder and helped steady the man as he stepped out of the shower. "And now this." He wrapped the towel around Gibbs' waist and tucked the corner in securing it. "Now into bed." Gently guiding Gibbs into the bedroom, Tony pushed back the blanket and let Gibbs drop down onto the cool sheets.

Gibbs fell back into the bed closing his eyes and taking a deep breath as the world spun around him.

Picking up Gibbs' legs, Tony shoved them under the blanket then pulled it up over Gibbs' body as he sat down on the edge of the bed next to the man. "Sleep it off."

"I don't wanna sleep." Gibbs sighed.

"What do you want?"

Gibbs' eyes opened and he reached up caressing Tony's cheek. "You."

"Oh you are so drunk." Tony snickered. "If you knew-" The next word was swallowed by a kiss.

Gibbs sat up, wrapped an arm around Tony's waist and captured the younger man's lips.

Stunned, Tony didn't know what to do. His first reaction was to fight back and push Gibbs away. But suddenly his lips responded, his hand snaking around Gibbs' neck and his fingers playing in the soft silver locks. The arm around him turned into two, as Gibbs' hands claw their way up Tony's back forcing their bodies even tighter together. A war waged between Tony's mind and body, his body wanting to surrender while his mind smacked him with the reality of it all.

"Gibbs." Tony panted ripping his lips from the older man's struggling to break free of the vice like grip.

"Tony." Gibbs growled, his lips now free he descended attacking Tony's neck licking and nipping at the tender flesh.

Tony's lips parted and his eyes closed as his body battled for control again, giving in to the wonderful sensation of Gibbs' exploration of his neck. "Gibbs." This time the name came out as a wistful moan.

Spurred on by his drunken mind and the sound of his name on Tony's lips, Gibbs bit down harder.

"Oh God." Tony groaned as he clutched at the back of Gibbs' head. Again his mind reeled, trying to suppress his bodies growing desire, and Tony drew back.

"Please don't go." Gibbs' blue eyes captured green. "I need you."

Tony's heart broke at the deep sadness laced in the words and in those blue eyes. A sadness, not just about the events of the last few days, but of years of loss. The war was over his mind surrendered the words having the desired effect. The one person that Tony would never walk away from needed him and nothing could make him leave.

The air rushed from Gibbs' lungs as Tony climbed off the bed. Tony was going to leave. He tried to prepare himself for it, the disappointment and loss, but then he heard the belt being unbuckled, heard the click click click of the zipper. He watched mesmerized as Tony slipped off his jacket, removed his shirt and then shimmed the slacks from his body. Gibbs' eyes leered up the naked man's body. "Gorgeous." It was the only word Gibbs could process. He pushed the blanket aside and tugged the towel from his waist.

Tony climbed onto Gibbs' body straddling the older man's hips. He chewed at his lower lips, waiting for Gibbs to say something, make a move, anything. He let his hands sweep up Gibbs' chest then dance across his shoulders.

There was a moment's hesitation as the lucid part of Gibbs' boozed soaked mind sent up an alarm. What if Tony didn't want this? "Tony-"

Tony pressed a finger to Gibbs' lips. "I want you… make love to me."

Gibbs' eyes dilated, his cock twitching as the words silenced the doubt and he attacked Tony with an animalist passion. His lips violently assaulted Tony's, kissing, nibbling, licking and biting at them until they were red and swollen. His hands cupped Tony's ass as he jerked the man down against his raging hard on.

Rocking his hips to create more fiction between them, Tony's fingers locked in the hair on the back of Gibbs' head and he jerked the older man's head back. His mouth descended on Gibbs' throat tearing at the flesh like some starving vampire.

Gibbs' fingertips dug into Tony's ass, howling as the wonderful mixture of pleasure and pain surged through his body. God he wanted more. He crushed their bodies together as he rolled them down onto the bed.

Tony's back made contact with the soft mattress and he felt the knee push its way between his thighs and they parted. The body hovered over him and his lips traveled from Gibbs' neck to his chest biting with the same intensity. He heard a hiss from the man above him and Tony's hands clawed their way down Gibbs' back to the older man's ass. Jerking Gibbs down, Gibbs' hard cock rubbed against Tony's thigh.

The lips on his chest were suddenly gone and Gibbs groaned with the loss as he looked down at the man under him.

Eyes locked Tony grabbed Gibbs' right wrist and brought the fingers to his lips. He sucked in two of the digits, licking and sucking at them as he worked his mouth over them. A few more passes and he pulled the fingers from his mouth with a pop. Spreading his legs wider, Tony guided Gibbs' hand between his ass cheeks and to the tight ring. He slowly pushed two of Gibbs' finger inside himself, moaning as he opened to the intrusion.

Gibbs tried to press his fingers deeper into the man, but the vice like grip on his wrist caused him to stop. The normally green eyes were almost completely black and Tony slowly shook his head at Gibbs.

"Be a good boy." Tony sighed as he started to move the finger in and out of himself again. "And just watch." Tossing his head back, eyes closed, Tony fucked himself with Gibbs' fingers.

Gibbs watched hypnotized by the actions of the man beneath him. In all the endless fantasies he'd had about Tony, never was Tony so aggressive and demanding. The juxtaposition between reality and fantasy had Gibbs already wanting to come. He slid his body between Tony's legs.

"Tony please!" Gibbs surprised even himself with the desperate begging. He never begged.

Gazing up at Gibbs, Tony gave a coy smile. "Please what?"

"Let me fuck you." Again Gibbs begged.

Removing the fingers, Tony let go of Gibbs' hand and it instantly latched onto his hip. Tony's fingertip brushed across the head of Gibbs' cock skimming through the precum.

Gibbs' body shuddered at the touch then saw the finger poised before his lips.

Tony ran the finger over Gibbs' bottom lip, then licked at the come covered lip before seizing Gibbs' mouth in a brutal kiss.

Gibbs tasted himself, on his own lips, on Tony's lips, on Tony's tongue in his own mouth. He tried to hold on to the kiss even as Tony yanked his lips away. He felt the movement between them and looked down as Tony ran a finger over the head of his own cock and brought the finger to Gibbs' lips again. Greedily, Gibbs sucked the finger between his lips lapping at the come.

Tony sighed. "What if I wanted a taste?"

That was exactly what Gibbs' hoped Tony would say. His lips crashed down on Tony's forcing his tongue into the younger man's mouth letting Tony taste himself from Gibbs' eager tongue. As he feasted from Tony's mouth, he felt the hand on his cock, felt himself position against Tony's opening, and then the hands grabbing his ass urging him forward. The head of his cock breached the tight muscle and his lips left Tony's as his head fell forward. "Fuck Tony!" Gibbs groaned.

Tony's hands scratched their way up Gibbs' back drawing the man's upper body down against him. His tongue licked at the shell of Gibbs' ear. "Fuck me." Tony growled. "Don't hold back…I want it all."

An animalist snarl erupted from deep inside Gibbs' chest and he lunged forward burying his cock in the younger man.

Tony's breath hitched as he was stretched to accommodate Gibbs' girth and length. His fingertips clawed into Gibbs' back as the cock slid almost out then slammed back in. He wrapped his legs around Gibbs’ waist and Gibbs' to start to piston into him at super human speed. Tony's eyes rolled back in his head as he clung to Gibbs' body desperate to hold onto the world around him.

Gibbs' gave Tony exactly what he asked for, holding nothing back. It was raw and unbridled, his inebriated state allowing him the freedom to completely lose control. His body covered in a fine layer of sweat, muscles taunt, he took Tony with all the years of pent up denial; a denial that had eaten away at him from the inside out, a denial that he never wanted to face again for a man that he never wanted to be without. He let his forehead touch the younger man's. "I love you Tony." He panted. "More than you will ever know." Gibbs' hand engulfed Tony's cock making quick short strokes over its length. The fingers in his back dug deeper as the body under him started to tremble.

It was too much, the words spoken with so much honest emotion, the primal need in the way Gibbs was taking him, the hand around his cock… An earth shattering scream filled the air around them as Tony cried in release.

Gibbs buried himself inside Tony letting himself feel Tony tighten around him. The tingling started at the base of his spine and no amount of control could have stopped him from coming. Tony's body released him and Gibbs collapsed down onto the younger man their bodies melting into a pool of lifeless limbs. After somehow managing to catch his breath, Gibbs rolled off of Tony and down next to the younger man and that was the last thing he remembered as he gave in to the exhaustion.

**##########**

Turning to roll over, Gibbs felt every muscle in his body revolt and he groaned rubbing his forehead as the thumping in his head began. Snippets of last night flashed through his mind. The Bourbon. Tony. Oh God Tony. The confession, the bed, their bodies locked together, the tastes, the smells, and the screams of release. His eyes flew open and he shot upright in bed, the emptiness of the room closing in around him. Another groan as the room around him spun. He took a couple deep breathes then looked around the room again. There was nothing, no sign of Tony anywhere, no clothes, no shoes, no phone on the nightstand. Was it all a dream? It was the first explanation that crossed his mind. If it was a dream, it was the most erotically real dream he'd ever had. Then he felt the pain in his chest as the second possible explanation wormed its way in…Tony left, walked away, didn't want this, and nothing would ever be right again.

"You're finally up." Tony smiled as he strolled into the bedroom, dressed and carrying a cup of coffee. He placed it on the nightstand and sat down on the edge of the bed next to Gibbs. "Figured you would need this. How's the head?"

Gibbs grunted.

"That good huh?" Tony chuckled. "Want some aspirin?"

"No." Gibbs took a deep breath.

A Cheshire grin played across Tony's lips as he repeated his question from last night. "What do you want?"

"You." Gibbs leaned forward and brushed his lips against Tony's. "Always you."

Tony's hand caressed Gibbs' cheek. "You have me, always." He brushed a finger across a large black and blue mark on Gibbs' neck. "I'd hate to see your back." Tony's eyes went wide as he was suddenly tossed down on the bed staring up at a smiling Gibbs. Tony's smiled mirrored the one above. "This your way of telling me you like it rough?"

"Rough, gently, I don't care."

"Glad to see you smiling, after the way I found you yesterday."

"Yeah."

Tony pointed a finger at Gibbs' face. "You can never run off to Mexico…well unless you take me with me."

Gibbs kissed the tip of Tony's finger. "You naked on the beach." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"And what, you're the dirty old man just standing there staring at me?" Tony chided.

"You seem to like making me watch."

Tony's hands caressed up Gibbs' arms. "You do listen quite well when given the right incentives." He captures Gibbs' lips in what he intended to be a brief kiss, but Gibbs demanded more and for a moment Tony accepted the demand. When Gibbs' fingers danced up his inner thigh, Tony pushed Gibbs back. "Oh no, we have a few things to talk about before you get a reward."

Gibbs' eyebrow went up. "Is that what it is, a reward."

"In this context yes. Because I know you hate talking about your feelings, but we need to talk about this." Tony stared deeply into the steel blue eyes. "I love you Gibbs, I should have said that last night."

"I've loved you a long time Tony and I regret not telling sooner."

"I should have said something; I just never thought you would-"

"It doesn't matter now…we're here where we should be."

"Okay, that's out of the way." Tony smiled.

Gibbs snickered. "And?"

Tony's gaze drifted to Gibbs' chest as his fingers played with the fine hairs. "I know last night was, you letting off steam trying to deal with everything that happened… But you're not allowed to give up, ever. Whatever it is we'll get through it together, with our family." He took a deep breath and met Gibbs' gaze again. "Promise me."

"I promise." Gibbs said with conviction.

"Wow that was way easier than I thought." Tony gazed up at Gibbs with surprise. "I expected the whole, he'll come after you became I love you line again." Tony immediately regretted saying it when he saw the sadness creep back into the blue eyes.

"It does put a target on you, like it or not, but I won't let him control my life. And-" Gibbs sighed. "Loving you, having you in my life, gives me every reason in the world to catch this bastard." The sadness left Gibbs' eyes replaced by the wanton need. "Plus what better way to keep an eye on you then having you in my bed every night."

"Every night?" Tony's eyebrow went up at the connotation.

"Every night." Gibbs' eyes leered down Tony's body smirking when he saw the bulge in Tony's pants. Lust filled eyes gazed down at Tony. "I think it's time for my reward." He dipped down to capture Tony's lips, but a hand on his chest stopped his descent.

"One more thing."

"What?" Gibbs asked with an eye roll.

Catching Gibbs off guard, Tony pushed Gibbs down onto the bed, straddling the older man's hips. He grinned down at Gibbs. "It's my turn to be on top."


End file.
